I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
