your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
