just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
