He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
