I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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