what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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