Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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