after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
