oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
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