please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
