So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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