She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
