if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
