dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
