Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
