Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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