my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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