69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
