Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
