Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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