I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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