her vagine was all disorganized.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
