Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
