i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
