my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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