we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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