ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
