My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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