ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
