You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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