I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
