We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
