So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
