Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
