i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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