Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
