Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
its not stalking. its research.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
