420 ftw
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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