oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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