That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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