remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
