There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
