what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
