he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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