Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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