that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize