Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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