His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
