guys are only as good as the porn they watch
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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