Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
