Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
