I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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