We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
