Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I need water and some morals
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