Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
