I think I died a long time ago.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Randomize
