is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize