i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I miss vodka workout Fridays
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
