Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize