i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
