I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
