So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
