i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
