Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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