After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
