In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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