Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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