I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
